How many times have we heard, “that’s, like…your job?” or “you get paid to babysit?”. There is some sort of assumption that if we hang out with kids, that we have it easy. There are days where I pinch myself and feel lucky to play for a living, and then there are other days where I feel I have earned every penny that I am making. Nannies are not immune to stress.
As any mother, or Oprah, would tell you, raising kids is the most difficult, rewarding job there is on the planet. As Professional Nannies, we realize the awesome responsibility we have each day.
Nannies must adapt ourselves to the lifestyle of a family, we must juggle children, chores, and errands. It is our duty to uplift and encourage this family unit… all the while keeping a personal life of our own. We tend to be a group of givers, almost to fault. Like mothers, we will sacrifice for good of the children.
Days are long.
Adult conversations, few.
… and with it all comes some STRESS.
A 20-minute drive separates my “Nanny Hat” from my “Wife Hat”. As I come in the door, I know I should be giving the best of myself to my best friend. While he never complains, I put pressure on myself to be the best and accomplish everything.
At the 2010 International Nanny Association Conference, there seemed to be an unintentional theme of “self-care”. It had us thinking and collaborating about the topics of health, relaxation, eating habits and even self-defense.
Picture in your mind a large glass pitcher filled with sweet, thirst-quencing, homemade
lemonade. (I choose this because one of my little goals for the summer is to learn how to make it). You are this pitcher. As a Nanny you are pouring yourself out to children daily: sharing your experiences, your character, your knowledge, and your love. As you pour yourself out, you must be refilled with something fresh that fills you up. Everything that you have to give is because of what others and experiences have given to you. It is a continuous cycle. The more refreshed you are the more you have to give. (Anyone thirsty? Recipe here.)
When a person becomes empty, their personal and work life will begin to suffer. Stress, if not dealt with can lead to depression and danger. According to Shoshana Korbin a Marriage and Family Therapist in Walnut Creek, CA, there are 9 signs that stress has become dangerous:
- Insomnia
- Obsessive or irrational thoughts
- Limiting activities
- Thoughts of suicide
- Ongoing despair
- Withdrawal and isolation
- Constant exhaustion, minor illness or headaches
- Addiction to drugs, food, alcohol, work, or spending
- Extreme vigilance, irritation, or anger
To be the best Nanny for my sweet boys, I must be filled up and refreshed. I hope that you will read these points (my opinions) and find some ways to help reduce stress in your own lives before it would ever get to a dangerous point.
High5: Ways to Reduce a Nanny’s Stress
You will notice that each of these 5 statements are VERBS. They require a choice that is followed through with action.
5. Live Your Priorities
I have expressed many times, that I live my life with purpose. When you can see growth and change around you, it will energize you to do the right things more often. In my car, when I unfold my sun-visor, there is a little piece of paper. A few years back I wrote down four things I would want to be remembered for. Someone who (1) loved God, (2) loved people, (3) was faithful and (4) giving. I hope that all I do, though it maybe misunderstood by others, will fall into these. I keep them where I see them often as a check for myself. Do you find yourself rushing and packing too much into your day? Knowing your priorities will also allow you to say “NO”…and that is a freeing thing.
4. Maintain your Health
This one is easier said than done. We all know to eat healthy, drink water, sleep enough, and exersize… but it seems to be hard to live this out and put ahead of other things in my day. Carve out time to eat properly, walk, swim, dance. Do what enjoy that also makes your endorphins happy. Reduce caffeine and sugar. Get into a routine of good habits. All of these ideas (along with the others you know of) will be some of the great things you are bringing to the kids in your care.
3. Express Your Emotion
Holding in frustration, and anger is not healthy. Think of a way to release these: write it down just to get it out, have a hard conversation, look for answers, or make a new choice. Feelings are there for a reason, and we should accept, acknowledge and then act.
2. Live in Community
Surround yourself with supportive people to bring joy and fun to your life. Participate in play dates and Nanny Night Outs. You will be surprised how rewarding and refreshing a community – that gets you- is. Cuddle with your cat, or spouse. Go out on the weekends. Host a Glee party to watch the season finale (*hint, hint*). Schedule fun, or else you may not feel like it after a long work week.
1. Seek Peace
There is peace available in every day, but you must find it. At nap time, change your environment. Go to a dark room and close your eyes even for 10 minutes. Sit in the sun and breathe the fresh air. During your commute choose uplifting, happy music. Take a walk or a swim or a bath. I love to shop and get great deals, get a massage every so often, spend time at church. Whatever it is that calms and rejuvenates you, set aside the time, you are worth it.
Great advise! I hope you don’t mind that I will be passing this along to many nannies! Keep up the great work and blog postings!
~Andrea- Nanny in NJ
Wonderful, inspirational and so true.
Thank you for “saying the words”